Posts

Starting afresh

For the past 10 months,I have struggled to date again.Getting back into the dating game has been the most exhausting activity. I gave every excuse in the book,at first it was that I am working on myself,the other one was ,I am not yet healed. I realise that,I did not allow myself a chance at love,to find love and enjoy love.Enjoy myself,that's the word I have been looking for..I fail at this so much,enjoying myself in a relationship. I recently met someone,whom for the first time made me find bubbles to try again.Quite a handsome young man,very outspoken,and strict..I've started smiling,looking forward to being with him but it did not work out..I am sometimes at fault,sometimes I am not.. Recurring failed relationships are exhausting,and at this point I am exhausted..I am going back to square one,this time I don't know how I would find the strength to date again.. I hope we find the strength,to go back and to love..but will it be as pure?
Post a Comment
Read more

How do I move on

 I didn't know how to move on,he seemed fine while I crambled.My heart wanted him,my body wanted him to hold me and hug me,my soul wanted my love..but he further slipped away from me,while I  showed him my tears.While I kept on crying,he further showed me his true colours..his true self.How  did we get here? I started doubting if he ever loved me,every action,every word,him going back to his ex,him cheating on me,him being cold,him not greeting me,were signs that he never loved me.i got love bombed and thought it was love..I never wanted to accept that,it was hard for me to say it with my mouth that he never loved me..my tears can literally fill a bucket,i wept for him but he only got power over me.To him I was this weak girl who can't move on from him. Eventually I got the strength,everyday was a struggle,everyday was a fight but I had to fight.Not for anyone but for me.To reclaim my identity back.I did,I loved myself more,I learnt to love myself first,Its a journey but for no
Post a Comment
Read more

Unanswered questions

 September 2021,I started work at Johannesburg,I  was in a learnership for 3 months.While at work,I met a handsome,quiet young man.We were so close and that's when we hit off..it was beautiful,we walked together,we were happy,so I thought....I was staying far from work,he was just 30 minutes away,I remember how we would walk to bree together from work,there was a certain spot we loved,it was our spot,our conversations,deep conversations were had in that spot,the promises we made to each other and the smoothing kisses were had there.For me,it was pure,he was my boyfriend,and moreover my best friend.I thought we were in love,we were inseparable.The first time I searched for a place to stay,he was there and the first time I moved to my place,he was there..I can't remember the number of times he was there for me..oh, what a wonderful man he was to me. But my lover suddenly changed,I also changed,we changed..we fought,we didn't agree,there was something about the change in our r
Post a Comment
Read more